How Being Queer led me to Personal Finance!



Growing up, I heard endless conversations about marrying rich, finding a man with a good job, and getting taken care of... A lot of families still preach: marry the guy that is the doctor, lawyer, engineer etc.(which is a lot of pressure we are putting on men too!)


So I grew up thinking men were more stable and financially equipped than women were.


And it seems like the running joke is to find a Sugar Daddy and call it a day.


But jokes aside, when I was coming to terms with my sexuality, I just kept thinking... I may not even end up with a man.


And whether I did or not, a man is definitely not a plan


And neither is a woman..


If I ended up with a woman, well, historically women have been paid less, they tend to gravitate towards lower paying service industry positions, and the cost of having a child being lgbtq+ is higher!


So, I decided that irregardless of how my future partner identifies or their financial situation, I wanted to do everything in my power to secure my own bag.


Being queer was a huge driving factor in me pursuing personal finance. I was determined to learn all about finance and investing so I could set myself and my future family up for success.


1. The Price of Parenthood is High

Becoming a parent is expensive, regardless of who you are. For LGBTQ+ people, that number can increase significantly because of the added cost of bringing a child into the family through adoption, foster care, or assisted reproductive technology.


Foster-to-Adopt: $0 – $2,600

Domestic Adoption: $20k – $45k

International Adoption: $25k – $70k

Anonymous donor sperm: $300 – $1,500 / vial (multiple purchases recommended) (F/F)

In Vitro Fertilization (IVF): $13.5k – $21k +

Gestational Surrogacy: $60k – $150k + (M/M)

Establishing Legal Parentage: $100 – $3,000


2. The Pay Gap for F/F Identifying Relationships

In general, women tend to get paid less than men, with women of color receiving the lowest pay on average. So households headed by two women of color, especially, can struggle to make ends meet.


These lost wages mean women and their families have less money to support themselves and their families, save and invest for the future, and spend on goods and services.


3. Bias & Discrimination Against LGBTQ+

According to a recent survey, a significant majority (62%) of LGBTQ respondents reported having experienced financial challenges because of their sexual orientation or gender identity.


These include:

  • Less financial support from family (LGBTQ Youth are 120% more likely to experience Homelessness.)

  • Discrimination or harassment at work

  • Being passed over for a job or promotion

  • Marriage inequality laws that reduced retirement security for couples

  • Discrimination leading to higher housing costs

  • Lower salary or reduced chance of promotion


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